Buenos Aires
Querido Frank
First of all my profuse excuse-me for the late response to your immediate answer to my new year’s mail. Not really astonishing, but nerve-wracking nevertheless: as soon as I had sent out my decision to change my life, my computer started to act up too. It just returned from the doctor…
“Passions don’t burn out”
Passions not, but the objects of your passion. Once you realize that the woman you desire so much, just isn’t interested in climbing into bed with you, you can try a little harder, look for a different approach, a hidden door. But then there comes a point where you have to admit that she simply ain’t conquerable. Once you have reached that point the choice is to suffer romantically for the rest of your life…. or to let go of her and find a new love amongst the billions of other beauties this planet has to offer.
Many of us waste their whole lives staying obsessed with this one they can’t get. I try not to make that mistake.
11 years have passed since my last feature, the good old Wedding Cow. My latest project “Monogamy?” is now the third bigger film that doesn’t find its financing. The important Swiss production company C-Films was sure that we would run in open doors with this project. They submitted it for development money to Swiss TV, government and the two cities Zürich & Basel. They received 4 answers… 4 very definite NOs. Sure, in half a year we could reapply, to likely receive further rejections in 3/4 of a year from now. 11 years of this is more than enough. When someone asks me: “And you, what do you do?” To say I’m a director feels like a total fraud. Directors direct…
We filmmakers are like sperms within a woman. We’re far too many fighting to impregnate that same egg. Most of us will die without reaching our destination, completing our mission….
Being in Argentina complicates matters further. For the Argentineans I’m the rich Swiss, definitely not one of them, definitely not someone who’s project needs their financial support – and for the Swiss I have left long ago, I’m no longer one of them… and so not worthy to be subsidized either.
“Kill yourself…”
During the past months I felt more and more depressed and bitter. The only solution seemed to kill myself… or then to change radically. But a change for what? I haven’t got the faintest idea.
I feel like I just jumping out of a plane without a parachute. But once the airplane is on fire this might as well be the only solution. For the time being I’m in the liberating free fall. But soon the ground will rush nearer and nearer… Will I come up with an alternative before I shatter on the floor?
“or stop using
glamor, hype,
romantic drug
to rush above
everyday reality”
My body… or is it my brain… has grown tired of the drug it’s used to use, grown resistant, maybe even allergic. And so I need to find a new drug.
TOMI STREIFF
Tuesday
From the Heart
Tomi
STREIFFSCHUSS FILMS AG
Tomi Streiff
* * * * *
well, I always figure out how to do what I want to do with what I have. This may take years sometimes. But I always do what I want. This is a part of directing, of creating, of living. True, I don’t try to do things “the right way. ” I just do!
In Freedom,
Frank Moore