when people hear i am an artist .... they all
want the same thing from me .... a painting of
their dog !
i guess i could make a career of it.... some
sort of poetic justice i suppose...
every night the local news shows men leaving
the country..... and their families saying
goodbye......
and i close my eyes and scream ....
may no blood be shed, may no blood be shed ...
it is ass butt cold and i have an ear infection
...but somehow the cold doesnt bother me as it
once did... i guess because i know...that it is
quite warm right now in many places...so i look
at it as some sort of illusion...or special
gift...just for me....
the snow is coming again they say .....
its like magic
++++++++++
the last few weeks...each morning is worse and
worse in the news....everyone's preparing for
the terror....you should have heard the cuss
words that came out of my house when i heard
the news anchor suggest people get plastic to
cover their homes to protect them from the germ
warfare and the likes....did it ever occur to
them that they are the terror ?
i watched good morning america as thousands of
faces the age of my little brother gathered in
north carolina .....to a wonderful send off
by miss faith hill....and i thought they too....
might be someone's little brother, and i cried.
i cant even go to the grocery store, the drug
store, or the gas station without being blinded
by images of thin white women with limited or
false breasts and hairless skin....and i know
every man i pass by in the street has seen the
same thing...and every young girl...and my
blood boils murderously. and i think how angel
expressed that feeling...by saying she was in
the bookstore one day and had to run out.....
because she had a sudden urge to sit down and
eat all the magazines.....
++++++++++
i wish i could be like the giant face on the
screen when dorothy went to Oz....and that
screen was in washington dc.......and all of
congress walks in...and i scream...so hard that
the wind blows their hair back or off
completely.....and i would scream you stupid
mother fuckers, you stupid motherfuckers.....
because how dare they talk about caring for
women in the middle east and their rights and
welfare....when if you stop and turn to any
woman on the bus or the street or sitting at
the table next to them in a restaurant....they
could hear quite a story, if the women dare
tell.....you stupid motherfuckers.....
++++++++++
life is so very interesting, millions of tiny
moments all happening at once, birth, death,
love, hate, right this second someone is
seeing another for the first time, or having
their first sip of wine.... or someone they
love is screaming at them.. and sex...in every
possible way is going on next door. life is
so very interesting, glued together...a series
of human expressions...as i lay here now with
my head on my pillow more is happening than i
could ever dream up, so what makes me think and
believe that the whole world can exist when i
can only see my orange pillow, striped sheets,
and the blinds on my window ...and who's to say
that all of time, past and future isnt
happening right now too.....that right now
because i have a headache...that maybe i am at
a tribal dance somewhere in an ancient society,
and the drums are getting loud, and i have
drunken too much celebration ?....who's to say?
the thought does make life a bit interesting...
to know you could be talking to someone's face
while they are a roman gladiator, or an
egyptian peasant.... i always think about these
things, and in the last few years have been
thinking, and listening...and you CAN feel it..
and experience life on another, deeper, more
sensitive level ....
and right this moment, the song come on baby
light my fire is playing inside of my head....
and i think that every human is on a journey,
and no matter what it is , we should respect
their existence,
if you want to know god...walk down a street,
open a book...talk to your neighbor...for god
means one...which split into many..to give
itself a new dimension...and you may be
surprised to hear that god murdered, raped,
cussed, and fornicated, screamed, and slit his
own throat, and was hindu, buddist, and pagan,
and catholic and male and female and black and
yellow and red and white .....
but if you sit and really think it might be ...
than it all makes sense ...
and a certain devilish smile comes to the face.
++++++++++
the stars are at war.
and i see no sense in wearing thousand dollar
shoes to art openings full of greed and
smugery ..... when if you ask a few people some
real questions...you get answers like ...i told
the other teacher to come to the office with me
...because she needed to hear what i was about
to say....you cant yell at a child every
morning for not doing his homework...and expect
him to concentrate and have a good day...when
if he's good in class, why isnt his homework
done...maybe you should look at the pattern
before yelling at the little person..and
realize there is a human in this little person,
so again, how do you expect him to do homework
when he has no home to go to...i know for a
fact he didnt eat supper last night...and he
asked me for extra food to take home for his
little brother.....do you think he gives a shit
about your homework...when all he can think
about is to get to school so he can eat ?....
the stars are at war.
i saw a picture of myself at a friend's house,
i was so beautiful then...with my pretty
sweater...and tiny body...my smile was so
carefree....back when i spent every night in a
pool hall or night club....and had so many
lovers .....
but now the stars are at war........
and i have taken up my sword....and every time
i close my eyes i see myself on a galloping
horse...my arm swinging .....
the stars are at war.
and now i spend my saturday nights jogging
after sunset...so that no one will see my
breasts bouncing as i run ......and reading
mark twain's instructions on art.....and
admiring his charm.....
the stars are at war.
and i feel like a suicide bomber...only in form
of art... does that make me the articide
bomber ??????? ...for the future is so grim and
the pain so big.....that i will sacrifice all
of myself....
the stars are at war ......
jacki called last night and said her brother
was traveling doing lectures about real estate,
and that he went into a lounge and saw a man
and asked, arent you elton john's guitarist ?
the man answered yes..and said they were doing
a show that night....so her brother goes to the
show...ends up with great tickets...bought off
of someone just outside the door....and every
time the sound gets quiet he yells, play norma
jean....the encore comes and after a few songs
he yells again ... play norma jean .... i guess
elton got really pissed...and threw down his
music and left the stage.....can you believe
my brother? jacki says...he pissed off elton
john !!!!!!!!!!!!!!! .... he later found out
that elton does not play norma jean since the
death of princess Diana ....
the stars are at war......
i set my alarm last night for 6:33am...having
a backlogue of writings in my head... needing
to get them down.... before i hit the pillow...
i turned the radio dial...to get to a new
station to awake to ....and when i reached one,
i thought yeah.... i turned it because there is
a message for me in whatever song will play
when the time hits 6:33 ....so 6:33 comes..and
all i hear is morning chat...but as i rolled
and stretched...a man in a deep voice came over
and said...and now... we have elton john ...
singing .... candle in the wind ...
i couldnt believe it ... i didnt know whether
to laugh or cry..... i just listened and
thought about love .....
the stars are at war...........