For the 12 days of christmas, here are 12 of the many-splendored reasons why Frank Moore gets so many “hot babes”

1) he’s a musician. musicians always get laid.

2) he has deep, warm, soulful, intoxicating eyes that always look right at you when you’re talking to him, and seem to understand whatever you’re babbling about. eyes like these are incredibly seductive. some women feel that he “undresses them with his eyes” (literally and metaphorically)... so why bother to keep their clothes on?

3) he has a way with words. frank is a poet, a seducer, a charmer with words on paper, as well as words “translated” through linda. he is a deep thinker, but his concise, eloquent phrasing makes it easy for everyone to understand. his depth and eloquence surprise some people, because when they first see him, they assume he’s a dribbling idiot. surprises like that are very seductive, because they cause you to let your guard down. moreover, he is not stingy with praise. hot babes love this. so do hot dudes.

4) he smells good.

5) he has a regular, very cool girlfriend who has been with him a long time. women are always attracted to men who already have women.

6) he’s a good dancer. women love to dance, and too many men won’t dance, for one reason or another. also, his wheelchair is fun to ride and straddle.

7) he’s a theatrical impressario. he’ll make you a star! everybody wants to be a star.

8) he’s not in perfect shape, so women feel that they don’t have to be either. they think: “if he can take his clothes off and parade around in public, why can’t i?”

9) he is extremely confident--despite what some call “handicaps”. everybody is attracted to confidence.

10) he has a big beautiful smile. smiling is contagious.

11) he is very childlike. people of all sexes are attracted to that, because it makes them feel young and playful. it can also make them feel motherly, like “taking care of” him.

12) he is very funny. he makes you laugh. laughter is a mental orgasm.

okay, there you go! it’s all true, and then some. now, linda, you better soak frank’s head in ice water before it swells up like a big balloon!!

Dr. Susan Block, 12/18/02